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II. Mastering Your Thoughts & Emotions BACKGROUND: Managing your psycho-physiology is no easy task, especially when there are deep seated fears and insecurities. The application of Ethos, Pathos and Logos as ‘filtering system’ for dealing with unwanted thoughts is very useful. This is called the Socratic ‘Elenchus’; (Ancient Greek: ἔλεγχος, romanized: ‘elenkhos’, means. testing, disproof or refutation; cross-examining, scrutiny) We find this in Plato's early dialogues, the elenchus is the technique Socrates uses to investigate, for example, the nature or definition of ethical concepts such as justice or virtue. In this anecdotal story with Socrates, that even a ten year old child can understand, we will see a demonstration of the way Socrtates may have applied it. |
See video demonstration in the video, from my LIVE sessions for an example
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It is a warm summer’s evening in ancient Athens, Socrates is taking a stroll to see the sunset over the sea in the distance. An acquaintance, runs up to him excitedly and says, “Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?”
- “Wait a moment,” Socrates replies. “Before you tell me, I’d like you to pass a little test. It’s called the Test of Three.” - “Test of Three?” - “That’s correct,” Socrates continues. “Before you talk to me about my student let’s take a moment to test what you’re going to say. The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?” - “No,” the man replies, “actually I just heard about it.” - “All right,” says Socrates. “So you don’t really know if it’s true or not. Now let’s try the second test, the test of Kindness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?” - “No, on the contrary…” - “So,” Socrates continues, “you want to tell me something bad about him even though you’re not certain it’s true?” The man shrugs, a little embarrassed. Socrates continues, “You may still pass though because there is a third test – the test of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?” - “No, not really…” - “Well,” concludes Socrates, “if what you want to tell me is neither true nor good nor even useful, why tell it to me at all?” |
The Three Filters we must pass our thoughts-beliefs-issues through:
- Is it 100% True?
Represents Ethos (Consider: Integrity, Credibility, Accuracy) - Is it Kind?
Represents Pathos (Consider: Feelings, Emotions, Compassion, Kindness, Empathy) - Is it Useful?
Represents Logos (Consider: Reason, Practicality, Applicability, Utility, Facts, Strategies)
NAME: “The Test of 3” - The Truth Shall Set You Free®
PURPOSE: Using ‘filters’ to overcome distressing, frustrating, angering, alarming THOUGHT - BELIEFS.
INSTRUCTIONS: Bring to mind a particular thought or belief that worries, distresses or angers you, regarding your personal or professional life. It can be a large or small thing.If the frustrating, angering or frightening event is something you are envisioning in the future, visit and experience that ‘bad’ event. If it happened in the past, revisit and relive the scene to review it and connect with your fear. For example: "The year is 1989. I’m in the living room of my parents’ home. I’m having (the usual) argument with my father about me wanting to leave my job at the bank. "
The belief that worries, stresses and frustrates me down deep inside: “If I leave my job, he’ll be so disappointed in me. I’ll lose his love and admiration. He won’t forgive me.” And what does that mean about me? “It means that I’m not worthy.”
- Ah-ha! So that’s the (mistaken) core-belief that I’m still holding about myself!
PURPOSE: Using ‘filters’ to overcome distressing, frustrating, angering, alarming THOUGHT - BELIEFS.
INSTRUCTIONS: Bring to mind a particular thought or belief that worries, distresses or angers you, regarding your personal or professional life. It can be a large or small thing.If the frustrating, angering or frightening event is something you are envisioning in the future, visit and experience that ‘bad’ event. If it happened in the past, revisit and relive the scene to review it and connect with your fear. For example: "The year is 1989. I’m in the living room of my parents’ home. I’m having (the usual) argument with my father about me wanting to leave my job at the bank. "
The belief that worries, stresses and frustrates me down deep inside: “If I leave my job, he’ll be so disappointed in me. I’ll lose his love and admiration. He won’t forgive me.” And what does that mean about me? “It means that I’m not worthy.”
- Ah-ha! So that’s the (mistaken) core-belief that I’m still holding about myself!
Write down the thought or belief that worries, stresses, frustrates or angers you. (It should be 1-3 sentences long, not more.)
Now ask yourself:
1. Is my thought belief 100% TRUE, or am I distorting the facts in my mind by:
If your answer is ‘No’, try to ‘process’ it, to gauge it’s actual truthfulness and its importance relative to your overall goals.
2. Is my thought or belief KIND?
Is it kind towards you? Are you putting yourself down, being too critical? Self reflection is good, but many times we judge ourselves too harshly. We’re all human and we make mistakes; the point is to learn from them, not to let them drain our energy and confidence. (You may find that you can trace back this harsh criticism to your mother or your father’s way of disciplining you when you were a child).
Now ask yourself:
1. Is my thought belief 100% TRUE, or am I distorting the facts in my mind by:
- Dramatizing the situation and overblowing it’s importance
- Generalizing and assuming things that are not 100% true
- Over-Personalizing and taking offence at things that are not really related to me
If your answer is ‘No’, try to ‘process’ it, to gauge it’s actual truthfulness and its importance relative to your overall goals.
2. Is my thought or belief KIND?
Is it kind towards you? Are you putting yourself down, being too critical? Self reflection is good, but many times we judge ourselves too harshly. We’re all human and we make mistakes; the point is to learn from them, not to let them drain our energy and confidence. (You may find that you can trace back this harsh criticism to your mother or your father’s way of disciplining you when you were a child).
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Is it kind towards the other(s)?
Look at it from the perspective of the others who are involved. How does the situation look from their perspective? Write your thoughts here: This diagram may assist you in this process on showing how perspective affects our view of truth: What do you see here, an old lady (facing forward), or a young lady (facing to the back). |
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3. Is my thought or belief USEFUL?
Although fear can sometimes be beneficial, alerting you to real dangers, too much fear and pessimism can poison your mind with self-defeating doubt and paralyze you with indecision. It may also be concealing your deeper desire, or an opportunity. You have to therefore, become a ‘witness’ to your thought-streams and encourage yourself to think thoughts which are useful, in order to keep it healthy and productive.
Consider your story, thought or belief. What is the benefit of allowing it to run around in your mind? Does it help you in any way? Who would you be if you didn’t have it? What would your life look like, if it did not exist? Thoughts that don’t pass the test of three should not be taking space in your mind. A ship does not sink from the water around it, but from the water entering it.
Although fear can sometimes be beneficial, alerting you to real dangers, too much fear and pessimism can poison your mind with self-defeating doubt and paralyze you with indecision. It may also be concealing your deeper desire, or an opportunity. You have to therefore, become a ‘witness’ to your thought-streams and encourage yourself to think thoughts which are useful, in order to keep it healthy and productive.
Consider your story, thought or belief. What is the benefit of allowing it to run around in your mind? Does it help you in any way? Who would you be if you didn’t have it? What would your life look like, if it did not exist? Thoughts that don’t pass the test of three should not be taking space in your mind. A ship does not sink from the water around it, but from the water entering it.
Now take a step back and consider Plato’s advice:
“Whenever you want to talk about people, it’s best to take a bird’s eye-view and see everything all at once.”
From this elevated perspective, could you let this story go? (Along with that dreaded feeling rooted in fear?)
Could you release it? I’m not asking you to do it right now, just to imagine yourself, from up-above, looking down on that situation… Could you imagine releasing it?
If you like, take three deep breaths, and feel yourself connecting with your Source of strength and power. In this state of connection, could you now imagine letting go of your old story (and the emotion of fear that comes with it)?
Would you consider being free of that story or that emotion?
You are not being robbed of anything. It’s for your own good.
When are you interested in experiencing this freedom? A week? A month? Tomorrow? … What about right now?
Consider; how you can rephrase, change or modify it so that it is more Truthful, Kind and Useful, so that it becomes clearer, more positive and more specific?
Write down this new, re-phrased statement in positive terms and read it out loud, putting your heart in it until it sounds just right: This is your new belief . CONGRATULATIONS ! In the next sessions you will find out how to really assimilate this new belief into your life.
“Whenever you want to talk about people, it’s best to take a bird’s eye-view and see everything all at once.”
From this elevated perspective, could you let this story go? (Along with that dreaded feeling rooted in fear?)
Could you release it? I’m not asking you to do it right now, just to imagine yourself, from up-above, looking down on that situation… Could you imagine releasing it?
If you like, take three deep breaths, and feel yourself connecting with your Source of strength and power. In this state of connection, could you now imagine letting go of your old story (and the emotion of fear that comes with it)?
Would you consider being free of that story or that emotion?
You are not being robbed of anything. It’s for your own good.
When are you interested in experiencing this freedom? A week? A month? Tomorrow? … What about right now?
Consider; how you can rephrase, change or modify it so that it is more Truthful, Kind and Useful, so that it becomes clearer, more positive and more specific?
Write down this new, re-phrased statement in positive terms and read it out loud, putting your heart in it until it sounds just right: This is your new belief . CONGRATULATIONS ! In the next sessions you will find out how to really assimilate this new belief into your life.
