How Resilient Are you?
On a scale from 1-10 How resilient are you at coping with life’s stresses and setbacks?
Let’s face it, bad things happen to good people all the time; We have accidents, people won’t always act with integrity, and those we count on will sometimes let us down. This isn’t negative thinking; it’s reality.
What exactly is resilience…imagine your mind to be like an elastic band…the more ‘elastic’ it is, the more ‘resilient’ it is at snapping back to its original, healthy state…
Well, its never too late to strengthen your ability to handle future challenges better.
Here are 6 points to increase your resilience.
1. Raise your perspective. Can you recall times in the past when you blew a relatively insignificant or manageable problem into a major catastrophe or drama?
Albert Einstein: “Our problems cannot be solved on the same level of thinking at which they were created.”
2. Watch your words.Your words create your reality. So be careful not to escalate problems using dramatic or catastrophic language. Avoid characterizations such as “It’s a nightmare” or “a sheer disaster” or you’re setting yourself up to experience exactly that. Describe it as “interesting times”, or “ a unique challenge that I am facing” or, better still, “It’s an exciting opportunity for growth”, and it will shift the emotions you bring to approaching it.
Most people use dramatic language for the reward they get from it: a sense of importance, sympathy or admiration. Other times it can fuel a sense of victimhood or powerlessness that abdicates them of responsibility to improve it.
Be careful with your thoughts and words, because no matter how much lies outside your control, there are always things that lie within it. Choosing not to complain, blame or sensationalize are among them.
3. Create and practice daily resilience rituals.It’s your small daily rituals that set you up to handle everything else better. Spend at least 20 minutes a day on activities that empower your body, mind and spirit ;
Doing meditation, writing a journal or videoblog, playing empowering music, doing yoga, reading inspiring books, communing with nature, some form of exercise…. To refill your batteries.
4. Don’t let your problems define you.No one likes to be sacked, rejected, have their heart broken or their pride dented. Although our setbacks and struggles can shape us, they don’t have to define who we are. Rather use setbacks to propel you forward and make you braver and bigger than you ever would have been otherwise.
5. Get support.It’s not a sign of weakness to open ourselves up to others or to ask for help. It’s the opposite: a sign that we are brave and that we want to be stronger. As Margie Warell writes in her book Make Your Mark: A Guidebook for the Brave Hearted, “We can be braver together than we can ever alone.”
6. Be Realistic.Former superstar CEO of General Electric, Jack Welch credits his success to seeing truth in all situations. “Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it were”.
Harvard University psychology professor Daniel Gilbert found that people are not good at forecasting their feelings when they’re in the midst of personal adversity. They mistakenly assume that they’ll feel similarly in the future. “It’s not that things don’t hurt. It’s that they don’t hurt quite as long or as much as we think they will,” Gilbert says.
Of course there are no simple recipies to coping with life’s twists and turns, particularly those which turn your world flips upside down . But nomatter how big your problems might seem right now, keep faith that you possess the resources within you to handle them.
I have personally been through many disappointments, health issues and failed attempts at my goals, and what they’ve taught me is that human spirt is more powerful than anything we are facing. We just have to be keep faith that, to quote the Greek Philospher, Socrates, “Within every adversity lies the seed of an equal or greater benefit.”